The Little Things In Life
by forensicduck
Summary: Post 2x21. The gang learns about what happened between Sean and Alex, and they all know that it's the beginning of change. Chapter 3 up!
1. Chapter 1

**Title: The Little Things In Life  
Summary: Post 2x21. The gang learns about what happened between Sean and Alex, and they all know that it's the beginning of change.  
Rating: T for mild language.**

'_Sometimes, it's the little things in life that can make all the difference.'_

'Morning, Nikita.' Alex say, smiling widely. The sensei, who had just emerged from her bedroom, smiles at her protégé as she rubs the lingering sleep from her eyes.

'You're cheerful this morning.' Nikita lovingly strokes the younger woman's hair, before pulling out a chair and plopping on it, thankfully accepting the coffee that's she's offered by Birkhoff.

The computer tech just smirks knowingly, looking back and forth between Alex and Nikita. 'I think she has a good reason for that.'

'Really?' Nikita says, interest piqued as she shifts to her side to look at Alex. 'Do tell.'

Alex's smile fades, but not quite disappears. 'Well…I was going to tell you later today, but since Birkhoff already spilled some of it, I might as well come right out and say it.' Her fingers find the edges of her shirt and play with it, revealing some of her anxiety. 'Last night, when we were fleeing Division, Sean… kissed me.'

Nikita is never one to squeal, or clap her hands together like an overly excited teenager. But boy, she does love it when she is proven right, and since she's expected Sean and Alex to get together since the day she met him, she can hardly restrain her joy. And as an added bonus, it really appears that Alex is happy with last night's events.

'Wow. And you-'

Alex nods once. 'I kissed him back. I mean, it was the last thing I expected to happen but it just felt…good, I guess. Part of me was thinking that this wasn't a good idea and reminded me that we were in the backseat of Birkhoff's car, with Ryan and Birkhoff sitting right in front of us. But he seemed so into it, I thought that he 'd forgotten all about them. And when I closed my eyes…' Alex shrugs innocently, avoiding the gazes of Birkhoff and Nikita. 'I don't know, I guess I started to forget about the world too.'

A silence falls between the three of them, until Birkhoff clears his throat. 'That seems like one _helluva_ kiss, Alex.'

'So, now what?' Nikita asks.

Alex shrugs again, the confusion and doubt now evident in her eyes. 'I don't know.' She inwardly curses at herself when she realizes that tears are starting to form into the corners of her eyes. 'I have to admit, when I see what you have with Michael, it makes me want something like it. But after what happened with Thom and Nathan, I don't know if I'll ever be capable of finding it. Better yet, finding and holding on to it.'

'Hey,' Nikita shushes, 'you need to remind yourself that Thom and Nathan are not Sean. They're…' Nikita pauses to find the right words, 'not with you anymore because they didn't know everything about you. But Sean does. And he's a good guy. I'm probably not one to talk because you know him better than I do, but I feel like he's someone who'll love you with all he has. And I swear that if I even had the mere _thought_ that this will not go well, I would've told you.'

'It's true,' Birkhoff chips in, 'Nikki's painfully annoying trait is telling everyone what _she_ thinks it's the right thing to do.'

Nikita just shoots Birkhoff a glare, but Alex knows that he's right, and that Nikita would tell her if she thought she was getting herself into a doomed relationship.

The three of them are startled to hear the sound of a door opening, and their heads immediately shoot towards the maker of the sound.

'Oh.' Nikita breathes, then recollects herself. 'You finally up, sleepyhead?'

Michael smirks. 'Mornin', everybody.' He walks up to Nikita, plants a kiss on the top of her head and disappears into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee.

'Now, can I just ask you guys one thing?' Alex starts, noticing that Nikita is now all smiley too. 'Can you please not get all weird about this?'

'I get it. No need to make something awkward even more uncomfortable.' Birkhoff says for the both of them, and Michael appears from the kitchen again, a frown on his face as he takes a careful sip of his coffee. 'What's going on? Something's going on.'

Nikita turns to look at Alex, who just nods at her.

Grateful to be the one to break the news to Michael, she smiles widely at a now amused Michael. 'Get this: Sean and Alex kissed last night.'

As much as Michael is surprised and eager to ask more about it, he can't help but laugh at the way Nikita is basically bouncing in her chair. Birkhoff obviously has to worsen it, and playfully mocks his friend. 'Oh, em, gee, I was totes rooting for them to get together since day one!' His high tone turns into an even higher shriek when Nikita jumps off her chair, and flings one of her slippers in his direction.

'Alright, alright, break it up guys- break it up.' Michael laughs loudly, as he settles himself between his best friend and his lover. 'We're not a bunch of teenage girls around here, we're gonna talk about this like the grown adults we are. So,' Michael spins around to look back at Alex, who was still recovering from the hilarious fight that had just occurred. 'what, you guys are together now?'

'I don't know.' Alex shrugs. 'That's the thing, I don't know where this is going.'

'But she knows that it's _right_ and it _feels good_.' Birkhoff adds, and Michael smirks, raising an eyebrow.

'Your words?'

'I said it in better words.' Alex scoffs, but nods.

'Well,' Michael grins proudly, now completely losing himself in acting like a surrogate father/brother to Alex. 'I'll have to say, if you were to get together with anyone, I've always secretly wished it to be with a guy like Sean.'

Again, the group is slightly alarmed when they hear a door creak open, but they all heave relieve breaths when it's Ryan. 'Hey, you guys finally up?'

'Yeah, some people sleep in on Saturdays.' Birkhoff informs him.

'Yeah, and some people wake up early so they can do useful things, like, go grocery shopping.' Ryan dumps his paper bag of groceries on the table and scans the room. 'Sean's still sleeping?'

Birkhoff, Michael and Nikita smirk as they all notice Alex's awkward look at the mention of his name, and reply in unison: 'Yeah.'

Ryan just rolls his eyes. 'Well, I guess he's finally taking that rest he needs, with the gunshot still fresh in his side.'

'Yes,' Birkhoff begins to speak again, and Alex forces back a sigh, 'It's also easier to sleep after you've made out with a chick you've always had the hots for… you know, something good to cover up the bad shit in your life that keeps you up at night.'

'I take it you've told Michael and Nikita what happened last night.' Ryan gives Alex a friendly smile, and she nods.

'With Birkhoff around, I had no choice but to tell them as soon as possible.'

'Hey,' Birkhoff proudly grimaces, 'I'm the number one couples fan around here. If there's no girly-girl around, someone else's gotta be it. Mikita.' He nods at Michael and Nikita, then at Alex. 'Salex. Now if you'll excuse myself, I'm going to go get a shower.'

Nikita giggles. 'Salex sounds good.'

The rest of the morning goes by in a comfortable blur, and slips into afternoon, when the young man that was the topic of the morning finally emerges from his bedroom.

Sean yawns and groans as he stretches, his eyes scanning the room for any sign of Alex.

'Good morning. If you're looking for Alex, she just left with Nikita to go for a run.' Ryan tells him, and Sean nods, slightly disappointed.

His hand slips underneath his t-shirt and rescues him from an itch on his side, as he saunters towards the kitchen, not bothering to lift his feet too much.

Michael and Birkhoff, who were on the other side of the room watching the news, now spot the Navy Seal as well. 'What up, Sean? Welcome back to the world of the living.' Birkhoff exclaims, referring to the fact that's it's already 2pm.

'Shut up, nerd, it's Saturday.' Sean growls teasingly, and disappears into the kitchen.

Birkhoff just furrows his eyebrow at Michael, who can barely stifle a laugh. 'Dude, he's now calling me nerd, too?'

In the kitchen, Sean joins Ryan for some late breakfast. 'Here you go.' Ryan hands Sean a cup of coffee.

'Thanks.'

'You well-rested now?' Ryan attempts to start small-talk, leaning casually against the kitchen counter.

'Yeah. I guess I slept so long 'cause I went to bed kinda late last night.' Sean yawns again, rubbing his hand across his face sleepily.

'I heard. How's your wound?'

'Still hurts, but it'll heal. Plus, it's kinda cool.' Sean jokes, a boyish pride in his voice.

Ryan grins, glad to see that he can get along with Sean too. Sometimes, he finds it hard to connect to certain people, but he feels like Sean is becoming some kind of family too.

'So…' Ryan begins, a little awkward. 'Did you talk to Alex about what happened?'

'We did some talking last night.' Sean answers, grabbing a bowl and the carton of cornflakes. 'Hey, you got any milk?'

'You'll have to settle for soy milk.' Ryan opens the fridge and hands him the soy milk.

Sean silently prepares his cornflakes, before letting out a soft sigh. 'Alex wasn't really clear on what's next.'

'You're scared that she's not going to give it a chance?'

'I'm not scared,' Sean immediately goes into defense mode, his eyes shot at Ryan, who just offers him his permanent attentive smile. Sean's face softens at that. 'I'm just saying… sometimes I can peek through the walls around her and I think I'll have a shot at convincing her that it'll be worth it.'

'You're very into her.'

'What else is new?' Sean jokes, and the two men share another laugh. 'No, seriously. I don't know what happened. When I first met her, she just totally got under my skin and annoyed the hell out of me. But lately, she's the one who helps me get back on my feet when life knocks me down.'

Ryan nods his head in understanding. 'I get it. Very poetic, by the way.'

'Thanks man.'

'Hey,' Ryan glances through the door, and spots two women jogging towards it. 'Speak of the devil.' It's the last thing he says before leaving for the living room again, obviously wanting to give Alex and Sean some time alone.

Sean clears his throat, ignoring the skip in his heartbeat as he settles himself into a chair, watching Alex's ponytail skip up and down as every step brings her closer to the house.

She's laughing in between her tired gasps for air, and Nikita is laughing too. They stumble into the kitchen, making a lot of noise as the door swings open and they fight to enter the house first.

'You ladies sure know how to make an entrance.' Sean speaks and shoves a spoonful of cornflakes into his mouth.

'Sean!' Alex puffs, bending forward and leaning into the hands on her hips. 'Be honest- who entered the house first?'

'Hm,' Sean swallows, playing the way Alex and Nikita entered the kitchen again in his mind. 'I would say Nikita.'

'What? No way!' Alex shouts out, her hand colliding with Nikita's arm in order to stop her from erupting into celebration.

'You asked for honesty, that's honesty right there!' Sean defends himself. 'But if it makes you feel any better, it was a close call.'

Nikita laughs triumphantly and pats a defeated Alex on the shoulder. 'You did good, Alex. Don't forget, you owe me ten bucks.' And with that, she goes out of the kitchen, leaving Alex alone with Sean.

'So,' Alex begins, finally able to control her breathing again. 'How'd you sleep last night?'

'Good.' Sean nods with a mouthful of cornflakes. 'You?' He won't tell her that she was on his mind every second of the night, not yet.

Alex smiles. 'Good.' She won't let him know about the dream that involved him, maybe later, but not today.

His eyes lock with hers and she finds herself getting lost in those charmingly reassuring brown eyes, just like they broke through her wall the day before.

'I think we should talk.'

'Maybe we should.'

He nods in satisfaction, tearing his eyes away from her and casually taking a few other bites of his cornflakes. A few moments pass before Sean shoves his bowl away.

'Can I ask you something, Alex?'

'Sure.'

He waits, and wipes his mouth with the edge of his shirt. A part of Alex is disgusted by his behavior, but the other part enjoys the glorious sight of the six-pack he's revealing briefly when he pulls up his shirt. He clears his throat and looks back at her.

'Did you believe the things I said yesterday?'

This felt like a tough question to answer, and Alex waits a minute until a proper answer comes to mind.

'Coming from you…I believed most of it.'

Sean smiles slightly, and he knows that he's moving forward. That's good enough, for now. 'Good. 'cause I really want to see more of you, Alex.'

A warm sensation creeps up to the sides of Alex's face and she knows that she must be blushing, so she awkwardly lets her gaze fall to the ground.

'Hey,' Sean's gentle voice causes her to look back up again, and he shoots her his best puppy dog eyes. 'I'd like to take you out…we can see where it goes from there.' He notices the shocked expression on her face. 'After what you've been through, you deserve normal life. Well, at least the closest thing you can get to it- we both know that it's never going to be completely normal. And I really don't think I'm full of it when I say that a night with just you and me could be enjoyable.'

Alex's mind goes into overdrive, thinking about her options and what she should be focused on. Does she have time to date in the midst of war? But then again, if Michael and Nikita can handle it, then perhaps she can too. She'll never know if she won't try.

She knows that any day with Sean is enjoyable. Despite her best efforts to stay calm and serious, he always manages to make her smile and get her heart to flutter out of control. Maybe she can finally put meaning to what happens inside of her chest whenever he smiles back at her.

She's so lost in thought, that she nearly misses Sean's question.

'So, what do you think?'

Alex breathes in deeply, closing her eyes for a second as she tries to let go of all her doubts. 'A date. We'll see where it goes from there.'

'Atta girl.' His euphoric smile ignites a giggle from her side, and it's the second time she's momentarily forgotten about everything that usually haunts her brain during the day.

**Author's Note: So, what do you think? Salex totally ignites the girlish squeals inside of me and they made me want to write something like this. Not a lot of angst and drama, there's enough of that in the actual show. Share your thoughts in the reviews section! Chapter 2 up soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: The Little Things In Life  
Author's Note: I know where my boundaries are, so I'm not going to deal with the whole 'Percy has a nuclear bomb' thing, I know that if I tried, I'd screw it up. So instead, I'm just going to write fluff and comedy, and write along with the story as the episodes air.  
Rating: Still T, but here's a warning for some language.**

* * *

'So,' Sean calls out, gaining the attention of the rest of the group as he walks into the living room, 'what's on the agenda today?' He smirks, rubbing his hands together.

Nikita rises from her seat and gives him her usual concerned, motherly glance. 'Nothing. _You_ are going to take your rest.'

Sean frowns, but softens when he feels Alex's hand on his shoulder. 'She's right. We can't have you dodging bullets when you're still wincing like an old grandma walking the stairs with every step you take.'

Sean opens his mouth to protest, but then sees Nikita and Alex exchanging looks, and realizes that he must accept his defeat. 'Fine.'

Nikita smiles in amusement as Alex gently forces Sean to sit down and slumps down next to him, the young man and the lady basically attached to the hip. '_I'm_ going to do some shopping with Michael and Birkhoff, and Ryan has a meeting with Kendrick. I trust you guys will be able to handle spending a day alone?'

'Absolutely not.' The two jokingly reply in unison and Nikita just rolls her eyes.

Michael stands up from his chair. 'I'm going to put on some decent clothes.' Nikita nods and Michael disappears into their bedroom.

'So, what time will you be back?' Alex questions.

'It could be late. I'm very picky when I shop.' Nikita's comment earns her a laugh from Sean's side. 'Don't wait up.'

The three fall silent, and Nikita takes the opportunity to scrutinize Sean and Alex. Alex's hip is still directly attached to Sean's, her hand resting on his thigh. She occasionally glances sideways at him, and when he looks back, they have a second of eye contact before Alex breaks it again by looking the other direction.

Sean clears his throat. 'Hey, Nikita, if you're going out anyway, mind if you pick up some _real_ milk?' Sean asks, and is rewarded with a nasty glare from Nikita, and a fist to the arm from Alex. 'What? It can be biological.'

'We're not doing that kind of shopping. Since our other house got blown up, along with every piece of equipment we owned,' she combines the words with a heavy sigh, 'we're going out to buy weapons and ammo.' Nikita hears Michael re-enter the living room. He's dressed in dark garments, and is showing off his best – albeit slightly exaggerated – stern look.

'Bodyguard enough for you?'

'What are you guys playing now?' Alex asks, already entertained by Michael.

Before Michael can answer, Birkhoff speaks up. 'I'm a rich-ass owner of a telephone company in Germany. I recently got threatened for my billions of _Eu-ros_,' he pronounces the word with his best German accent for some comic relief, 'so I hired two of the finest American bodyguards: Batman and Wonder Woman right here.'

'I'm guessing we won't be doing much of the talking...' Nikita laughs, noting the proud (and somewhat smug) grimace on Birkhoff's face. She glances down at her watch. 'We should go. I arranged him to be there at 5, and I just hate to be late.'

Getting a burst of energy at her announcement, he shoots up and rubs his hands together. 'Alright- shotgun!' Birkhoff exclaims, shaking up both Nikita and Michael. The two share a look that can only mean one thing, and Nikita winks one last time at Sean and Alex before they leave the apartment.

* * *

Sean and Alex spend the rest of the day watching television. Occasionally, Alex looks down at Sean's side with worry in her eyes, and he'll place a hand on her wrist, telepathically telling her that everything will be okay.

'Movie?' Sean suddenly asks, after a while of aimlessly going through the many channels.

'Sure. Does Ryan have something here?'

'I have something. I think you'll like it.' Sean fails to hold back a groan when he rises from the couch, and Alex immediately stands up with him, grabbing a hold of his muscular arm.

'Don't push yourself, Sean.'

'_I can function_, Alex.' He bites back, and inwardly curses at his agitation. 'Thanks.' He gently starts to slide his arm from Alex's grip and she reluctantly lets go. He sighs as he stumbles his way into his room, and Alex hears the sound of him rummaging around.

'Oh, I meant to ask you something.' Sean's voice slices through the door that is slightly ajar and she responds by saying 'hm' as loud as possible.

'What's this?' Sean emerges from the room, a CD clutched in his hand.

Alex casually shrugs. 'How would I know?'

Sean just wordlessly hands her the CD, and she nearly chokes on her own saliva when she reads the words written on the cover of the CD. 'For Alex.' Her mind races back to when she received the CD, it was a collection of rock music that she honestly didn't quite care for, though at the moment, it was the only kind of music she had and she appreciated the sentiment behind it. 'Thom.' His handwriting was simple and clean, and it brought back bittersweet memories of the boy who was the first to make her feel 'comfortable' within the Division walls.

Sean slips his hands into his pockets. 'I had it for a while, I didn't want to give it to you while you had so much on your mind. I'm sorry.'

'It's…okay.' Alex mutters absent-mindedly. She tightens the grip on the CD, then bends over to place it on the coffee table. 'It's in the past now.'

Sean nods and watches her in silence, as she struggles to keep her emotions in check. He read about Thom in her file, a few months ago. Apparently, Thom found out that Alex was Nikita's mole, and was torn between his loyalty to Division and his affection for Alex. He wound up dead in Alex's arms.

Alex does her best to wave off any remaining emotions in her face and sniffles back the last tiny tears. 'You got the movie?'

'Oh, yeah.' Sean rushes back into the room and appears a few seconds later. He holds up the front cover of the DVD with a smirk on his face, and Alex can hardly stop herself from bursting out in laughter. 'I was raised with two sisters, there was no way to avoid me taking over a few of their interests.' Sean defends himself, as he opens the cover and slides the _27 Dresses _DVD into the player. 'I also have _Band of Brothers_.'

'Just sit down.' Alex grins, taking the remote from his hands. 'You don't have to try to be so masculine around me.'

* * *

Alex is not very informed with today's pop culture, and neither is Sean, but at least he knows more about it than her. Sometimes, she presses the 'pause' button and he'll tell her what he knows about Katherine Heigl, and what movies James Marsden was in. Sometimes, they forget about the movie and their topic of conversation slips into something else like: what's the best way to dramatically ask someone for forgiveness à la Hollywood. Sean tells her about all the chick flicks his sisters made him watch when he was younger and Alex laughs at the stories of hopelessly in love men who end up doing extravagant things in order to win back the heart of the woman they love. Sometimes, he'll remember a movie where the tables are turned and the woman has to be the one to win back the man.

'Katherine Heigl definitely nails it here- crash a party and take over the mic and the spotlight, make _everyone_ wonder: 'who the hell is this crazy lady and where's security when you need it?' and make a long speech about this guy in the crowd. The feeling of embarrassment will take him over because the spotlight is now on him too, so he'll forgive her by kissing her, but secretly, he'll think: why of all places, would you do that _here_?'

Alex chuckles and comfortably leans into Sean's chest, careful not to lean on his wound. 'So if I did that, you'd do what you just said?'

Sean nods. His arm is around her and his hand is calmly rubbing her shoulder. 'I _would_ kiss you, definitely. But I would kind of hate you for putting me in the center of attention like that.'

They share more laughs as the movie comes to a end and they end up talking through the entire credits. They talk about Sean's family, about his sisters – they avoid talking about his mother – and about how they always took him out shopping for clothes and he hated it. It did give him an instinct for buying someone the best gifts, and when they get to the topic 'gifts' Sean is suddenly reminded of something. He leaves Alex sitting there in confusion when he races to his room and comes back, holding a small package in his hand.

'I have something for you.' Alex looks at him – and then it – quizzically. It's wrapped in dark purple gift paper, and Sean had tied a simple bow around it. 'Open it.'

Alex takes it from his hands and pulls on one end of the ribbon, it slides off the gift easily. Her hands carefully rip the gift paper apart, until she pulls out a CD.

'I don't know what kind of music you like, so I hope I did okay.' Sean says with a sheepish grin on his face. 'I made it a while ago, not long after I found Thom's CD for you. I actually let Birkhoff burn it onto a CD. I think he went a bit overboard with the design, though.' He refers to the slick cover that neatly listed all the artists and songs. 'I wanted to wait for the right time to give it to you.' He pauses before he admits, 'Actually, to be honest, there was also a chance I'd never give it to you.'

'Sean,' Alex breathes out, not knowing what to say to this. She's overcome with a feeling that she can only describe as emotional turbulence and she gestures him to sit down next to him. He does, and she immediately wraps her arms around him. She feels his hands envelop around her waist, pulling her closer to him. 'Thank you.' She relaxes in his grip until they hear the sound of a door clicking open, and the ensemble of Nikita, Michael and Birkhoff walk in the room. She's quick to break apart from him before any of them notices.

'I'm pretty sure I said 'shotgun' when we left.' Birkhoff pouts, as he awkwardly tries to carry three submachine guns.

Sean resists the urge to laugh at him, and gets up from his seat. 'You should be careful with those things, nerd, you wouldn't want to shoot anyone around here!' he exclaims and quickly takes over a MP5SD from Birkhoff's hands.

'Well…I highly doubt that at the moment.' Birkhoff shoots both Michael and Nikita a nasty glare.

Nikita just laughs light-heartedly and gives her friend a pat on the back. 'Oh, shut up, Birkhoff. I know you love us.' She's carrying a hard case suitcase, and opens it after placing it on the dining table. Alex is quick to take a peek over her shoulder, and whistles at the sight of a couple of shiny Beretta revolvers and P99's.

'You're going to love what I got, Alex, but first, you might want to take a bucket for your drool.' Michael joked, and every single person in the room stood around him as they appreciated the sight of the semi-automatic sniper rifle.

'Wow, good job guys.' Sean complimented them, and Nikita smirked.

'And what have you guys done with your day?'

Sean and Alex gave each other a quick look before Alex shrugged and answered. 'Oh, we just watched a movie.' She glanced over her shoulder and noted that they still left it on the menu.

'_27 Dresses_?' Michael grins, 'Didn't think you had it in you, Sean.'

The boy just shrugs his shoulders in innocence. 'I am a man of many surprises.'

* * *

The rest of the day ticks by. Birkhoff soon finds himself seated behind his laptop, while Michael and Nikita go over their current possessions and the best way to use them. Ryan is the last one to arrive back at the safe house, and he debriefs them all on his meeting with Kendrick. Sean later insists that everyone is hungry and he goes out for pizza, and the men end up watching football at the end of the evening.

They all go to bed late at night, and Birkhoff jokes that Sean will probably wake up at 4pm tomorrow. They all laugh, and think to themselves that this is probably true.

Alex is glad that Ryan's safe house is big enough for each of them to have their own rooms, she doesn't know if she could handle sleeping in the same room with Sean. She couldn't share a room with Nikita, because she would obviously prefer sleeping with her boyfriend. Alex can't help but take one last look at herself in the mirror – in case Sean happens to knock on her door, wait, she stops herself from thinking that before the thought is even properly formed in her head – and slips into bed, fighting back the urge to groan in satisfaction as she relaxes into the comfortable mattress. Her eyes travel across the room; it's not very well furnished, but a feeling of ease hangs in the air due its simplicity.

She notices a CD-player on a small cabinet in the corner of the room. Her mind briefly wonders if it'll be worth it to get out of bed now, but the battle is soon won by her interest in the CD that Sean had given her earlier.

So she slides out of bed again, moving towards the cabinet. She reminds herself that everyone else is asleep, so instead of turning it on and leaving it in the corner of the room, she decides that it's probably a better idea to bring it closer to her bed.

On the other side of the door, Sean is busy collecting the dirty dishes from the coffee table, ready to go to bed himself, when he swears he hears the faint plucking of guitar strings coming from Alex's room. He puts the dishes back down and moves to her door, bringing his ear closer to it.

"_I don't mind spending every day…out on your corner in the pouring rain. Look for the girl with the broken smile…ask her if she wants to stay awhile."_

Sean makes no attempt to resist the small smile that starts to play around the corner of his lips, as he visualizes how Alex's must be listening to the song. Maybe she's seated on the bed…perhaps with her arms clutching her knees to her chest. '_I want to make you feel beautiful._' The thought settles in his mind, and pushes it far away to the back of his brain. He feels his hand lean on her door, and slide down as he reluctantly strolls back to the center of the room.

Little does he know that Alex is crying on her side of the door. Warm tears are sliding down her cheek and she's clutching her pillow as if her life depends on it. '_Maybe it's time for another shot._' His words echo away in her head, along with every wasted and wrecked year of her life. From when she was a little girl who saw her father get murdered to when she was sold as a sex slave and forever scarred and eventually to the horrendous things she did for Division. Bits and pieces of her life flash before her eyes and none of these are making her feel good about herself.

Any form of relationship or intimacy never sat well with Alex, or Alexandra Udinov, and for a moment she wonders why it was so easy for her to jump into one with Nathan. She decides that it must be because she was longing for something real, and she was too young and reckless to realize that Nathan had to be the most _unreal_ thing that she desired in her life at that moment.

Her mind shouts at her to stop crying, but her bottom lip begins to waver, and she curses in a whisper. '_God damn it_, Sean.' She grabs a firm hold of her pillow and chucks it against the wall across the room. It only makes a silent thud as gravity pulls it back down to the floor. '_…I've always secretly wished it to be with a guy like Sean._' Now it's Michael's turn to invade her mind, and she thinks back to when he basically crashed her place to interrupt her time alone with Nathan.

Her hands rise to her face, and rub the remaining tears away. Sean's gift to her rises many questions inside of her, and she reminds herself that she agreed to go on a date with him. But she has no idea if things will be different with him. All she knows is that the mere thought of her past life as a prostitute makes her feel filthy, used and unworthy of a love as deep as he might offer her.

Her bed is no longer a comfort and she shuts off the CD player, along with her train of thought. Without even considering her actions, she steps out of bed, determination now the only thing in her facial features. She flings the door open – it only barely doesn't crash against the wall – and forces herself to moderate the frustration in her eyes.

Sean swings his body around in surprise, the surprise in his eyes quickly fading to the tender eyes that feel so familiar to Alex. 'Alex.' He speaks clearly, ever so serious. 'You can't sleep?'

'No.' Alex takes a few steps closer to him, and he swallows. She likes it when she can make him nervous, she thinks. But that's beyond the point she wants to make right now. 'Thank you.' She's not entirely sure how much she's thankful for his gift, or if she's just thankful that he cares about her. Because he does, and she believes him. She just doesn't believe that she's worth the amount of attachment he has for her.

'It's not a problem-'

Every fiber in her being tells her not to, but she puts a hand in the back of his neck and pulls him closer for a kiss. His eyes flicker wide open and shut in surprise, but soon he kisses her back with the same intensity that she's offering him. His hands rest on her shoulders, and sometimes move to her face to tuck a bit of hair behind her ear. Her heart is beating uncontrollably and she struggles to focus on her knees so that she won't fall to the floor altogether. She's never felt this way before, and it is scaring her. But at the same time, it feels safe and it's making her want more.

She's the first to pull away and she smiles to see him gasp for oxygen. 'I'm sure you'll understand it when I tell you that I really want to take it slow.' She speaks in monotone and she's used to it. Her hands that are still on his neck, feel the slight scruff as they slide away from him.

Sean clears his throat a few times and then nods firmly, like a private would nod at his lieutenant. 'I understand.'

* * *

**Author's Note: I try to be as in character as possible, but I'm only human – and girly – so excuse me when I falter here and there to a more cheesy and fluffy side of Sean. I also want to take the time to thank every single one of you for taking the time to leave me a nice message for this story and also for 'Wanted'. I know there are typos in there that I have accidentally made, and I thank you for putting up with them. You know the drill on this one too, please review! I don't know when they next update will be, by the way. Usually when I get back from work, I feel like an old lady and pretty much immediately go to bed. But let's just say you can expect an update around the next episode, and if I feel like it, before it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I've had a lot of issues trying to figure out what to do with this story and with the ending of season two, so I'm going to drop everything that actually happened, except for the part where Percy and Roan die and Division is taken over by team Nikita.**

* * *

It's not that Alex is leading him on, but the days slip into weeks and she and Sean still haven't gone on any sort of date. They've both got a lot of their minds with Division being taken down and each of them getting new roles in Nikita's team of assassins.

Alex often thinks of herself as a part of a dysfunctional family, but a family nonetheless. There's Michael and Nikita, who often act as the parents she didn't have for most of her childhood. She goes to Nikita for advice and uses Michael's knowledge and experience for the things Nikita may not know. Then there's Birkhoff, the quirky yet lovable 'brother' and Ryan. She's not completely familiar with him, but he's kind and she would consider him the equivalent of an uncle. And finally, there's Sean. He's like the new guy on the block, the guy-next-door, etc.

So after Division is taken down, Alex finds herself getting more time to spend with her so called family. It's a rainy Tuesday afternoon, and she's seated on the couch with Nikita to her right, her eyes absent-mindedly staring in the direction of the television.

'So…are you excited?'

Alex is momentarily taken aback by Nikita's sudden question. The girls where just watching a documentary on the Discovery Channel when the older one broke the silence.

'Excited for what?' Alex questions but doesn't tear her eyes away from the television. They are broadcasting something about the Civil War, but even five seconds after the narrator explains something, she can't for the life of her remember what he said.

'Division is taken down. That's a big step towards a free life.' Nikita clarifies for her, a small smile on her lips. 'You can actually go on that date with the boy scout without having to look over your shoulder.'

Alex's curly brown hair flings up and drapes around her shoulder as she shoots her glance sideways. 'You know about that?'

'Oh please,' Nikita rolls her eyes in amusement, 'when you're not around, it's all he talks about. Don't leave him hanging for too long, though. You'd break his heart.' Nikita adds and the playful glint in her eyes don't miss Alex's attention.

'I wouldn't even know what to do. I've never been on a date before.' Alex sighs as she reaches for the remote and turns the television off. 'Have you ever been on an actual date with Michael?'

'Huh.' Nikita utters, letting her gaze shift to nothing in particular. 'Now that you mention it, I've never had an _actual_ date with him. But I'm sure it's basically just spending private quality time with someone you care about.'

This gives the young girl an idea, and her lips curl up into a wide smile as she shares it with her mentor.

* * *

'So…ready for your big night with Alex?' Michael asks politely, watching Sean struggle to control his nerves. It's a pretty amusing sight to see, Michael is standing casually with his hands shoved into the pockets of his slacks, while Sean paces back and forth, his hand occasionally rising up to his black tie to check if it's still in place.

'As ready as I'll ever be.'

Michael laughs shortly at the ex-Navy Seal's anxious reply, but then quickly pulls a straight face. 'Okay, so maybe cut down the nervous act. It's making me nervous, too.'

Sean nods firmly, spinning around on his shoes to glance at the door. 'Where are they? They said they'd be here a half hour ago.'

'They're _women_, Sean. They probably wanted to stop by the restroom first to uh, maybe powder their noses? I don't know what women do to their faces.' Michael shoves one of his hands out of his pockets to take a peek at the time. 'Maybe we should take our seats. I'm sure they'll be here in a minute.'

'Hey, uh, Michael... since we've got some time to kill anyway, I've been wondering something.' Sean starts as he settles down on his chair, and Michael gives him a questioning look. 'What's the deal with you and Alex? I mean-' Sean quickly adds when he notices Michael's look shift into a more intimidating stare. 'not romantically, obviously, I know you're with Nikita, but I noticed you can feel quite protective of her. And as much as I admire that, I need to know what I'm up against if I want to protect her as well.' The end of that sentence is delivered with a more teasing tone in his voice, and Sean is glad to see Michael's face relax a bit.

'Well,' Michael begins slowly, 'let's just say that I trained Alex in Division, and she reminded me of Nikita. So it's like her presence at Division made me miss Nikita just a little bit less. She's fierce, knows what she wants but she can also be incredibly stubborn.'

'Yeah, tell me about it!' Sean laughs and the two men take a short moment to consider that thought.

'I guess it's safe to say that if I didn't know you any better, Sean, I would've warned you about what might happen if you hurt her.' Sean can't help but gulp a little as Michael's intimidating stare resurfaces for just a hint of a second. 'But,' the other man in front of him softens yet again, 'I know you're a good guy. You're a boy scout. I really don't have any doubts about you.'

* * *

The two men spend ten more minutes alone at their table, sipping water and exchanging polite small talk, before the women they've been waiting for finally arrive. They're both beautiful, though the one on the right, wearing a long blue dress and heels that accentuate the legs perfectly, is the one who steals Sean's breath away. He finds himself rising from his seat to help Alex get seated, and Michael is quick to follow his lead.

'Wow, you're-' Sean breathes out, '…so…wow.' Upon hearing his own awkward stutter, he chuckles a bit.

Alex giggles thankfully. It's exactly the kind of reaction she was hoping for. She doesn't fail to notice that Sean's eyes are lingering on her lips. She knows he loves it when she wears bright red lipstick, and that is exactly what she chose to wear tonight. 'You look really handsome, too.'

Michael and Nikita exchange looks as they watch the young couple get through the first awkward stage of a date, sharing anecdotes about their day so far and giving compliments about one another.

'Good evening.' A waiter walks up to them and hands them all their menus, inadvertently setting the pace for their double date.

Alex wasn't sure how the night would've progressed if she didn't have Nikita by her side, ready to assist her whenever she wasn't sure about her next move for the date. Sometimes, the girls would excuse themselves to go to the bathroom and talk about Sean's not-very-subtle compliments and the best way to respond to them, or Michael's cool romanticism that was very different from Sean's.

'So…we ate. What happens next?' Alex questions, staring back at herself in the mirror while Nikita fixes her mascara.

'Well, Michael promised me to take me for a walk by the river and I don't know what Sean wants to do with you.' Nikita moves away from the mirror and looks at Alex. 'So, how 'bout that guy, huh? Do you think something could happen tonight?' she jokingly speaks, though there's a hint of seriousness in her voice and Alex quickly turns away, clearly aware of her flushed cheeks.

'I don't know. I don't want things to go too fast, you know. I've done 'too fast', and it never works out.' Her mind wanders off to Sean and she pictures him in her head, sitting behind their table, his mind probably in overdrive, trying to figure out how to make sure he doesn't mess up the evening. She knows that he's nervous, and a part of her is touched.

But the fact of the matter is: she's not sure if she's ready to love him just as much as he loves her. He's never said it out loud, but it's evident in the way he acts around her. The way he talks about her. Even the little things, like the way his eyes glint at the mention of her name.

All she knows is that she doesn't want to lose him. She remembers the agony in her chest when that bullet pierced his side and his scream slit through her sanity. She remembers how her fingers trembled as she pressed her hand against his wound, blood spurting out and coloring her fingers. Something changed since she first met him.

She doesn't want to see him get hurt. And the feeling is mutual.

So, is it _love_?

'Hello, earth to Alex.'

Alex realizes Nikita is waving her hand in front of her eyes, and immediately shuts her thoughts down. 'Sorry. I spaced out for a second.'

'I see.' Nikita smiles, 'Will you be okay with Sean? I'm leaving now. But if there's anything you need to ask me, you can always text me.' Nikita indicates the phone in her hand and then places a hand on Alex's shoulder. 'Have fun.'

'Yeah.' Alex replies with a smile, 'You too.'

* * *

**Author's Note: I decided to stop here, but I've already got a few ideas in my head about how the evening with progress for Alex and Sean, so that's what you can expect for the next chapter. There are a few topics that I want to crash in this story, so let's just say that I haven't given up on it. This story could go on for at least a couple of more chapters! By the way, thanks for all the story follows and reviews that were added even after I appeared to have forgotten about this story. You guys rock!  
**


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